"I just found out I'm adopted"... this is a safe space to connect and learn more about journey of Late Discovery Adoptees.
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Project 5 Being Known

Being Known

Not being known doesn’t stop the truth from being true.
— Richard Bach (Writer)

This week builds on the heaviness of last week by exploring more deeply the 6th human need, that of Being Known. I'm not going to load this week with information, just a few key questions for reflection and a wide variety of invitations. Check out the audio for reflective questions and my experience of these invitations.

 

Key Questions:

Think about your definition of Being Known?

What would it feel like to Be Known? To yourself? To others?

What is your truth, that remains true whether it is known or not?

Have you had times in your life when you experienced Being Known?

Have their been key people in your life with whom you felt close enough to allow yourself to Be Known?

What do you wish *they had seen, heard, or knew mattered to you? Do you still feel this way? (*they can be anyone who matters to you, it could be a parent or caregiver, but doesn't have to be.)

An example of alcohol ink and stamps on photo paper; one way to make a postcard from your future self.

An example of alcohol ink and stamps on photo paper; one way to make a postcard from your future self.

Alternate Invitation:

Free write: addressing some of the questions and feelings that come up for you on this topic. Try to accept whatever comes up as you write. Sometimes writing on unlined paper or using markers instead of pens can get things flowing.

Found Poetry: Using a page of existing text from an old book, magazine, or poem; find words or groups of words that speak to you and mark them. This is an activity of trusting your intuition. Keep working at the page using markers, paint, or scissors to make your art. Google or pintrest "found poetry" to see examples of this. 

This was my Found Poetry: The Tree is You. (See right for the poem.)

This was my Found Poetry: The Tree is You. (See right for the poem.)

Friendly reminder: Consider what you need before you begin. pay attention to your environment and physical needs: privacy? a partner? a meditation? a walk? music? A timer? a snack or warm beverage?

Invitations:

Becoming Known to Yourself: What is your truth that is not necessarily known? Tell the story of your truth using any media you like.

Body Mapping: Print off or draw a rough body outline, much like the invitation in week 2. Using colors, symbols, patterns, or images, express Being Known. As you think about it, what feelings come up for you? Where do they reside in your body? Try not to over-think this, just let it come to you, and get it out on the page.

A Postcard from Your Future Self: You could create a card using a photograph, card stock, or photo paper. You could find an image online or in a magazine that speaks to you. You could use something free-form like alcohol ink or water color paints. Once you've created your image, it's time to write your message. What does your future self know about you? What message does your future self have for you?

My postcard from my future self. For me, creating an image on the front was an important part of the process. The idea of "sunnier" times came forward - hope, warmth, and affection. I was able to meander in my thoughts about what future self might s…

My postcard from my future self. For me, creating an image on the front was an important part of the process. The idea of "sunnier" times came forward - hope, warmth, and affection. I was able to meander in my thoughts about what future self might say...

I think my message to myself still sounds kind of surface. I think I gained more insight from the Found Poetry. However, I found myself reflecting on how far I have come. I feel more authentic and present in my life. I know myself better than I ever…

I think my message to myself still sounds kind of surface. I think I gained more insight from the Found Poetry. However, I found myself reflecting on how far I have come. I feel more authentic and present in my life. I know myself better than I ever have, but I know I still have much growth and healing to go.

Getting to know my bio-brother has helped me to grow in knowing myself. It has been challenging at times, and extremely anxiety causing in the beginning. He helped me to learn about the many layers of trauma in my birth family. I am beginning to allow myself to be known to myself and others.

 

The Tree is You... It's Been Here Forever

Gazing gone
We must find a way
Too late now
Barely enough
Cutting dead trees
I broke off A tree
I was knocked off
Back to the fire
I learned
To rest and relax
A force
A question alive
Shifting smoke and sparks
Our bodies scorched
Burned immediate end

Becoming constant worry
He knows you
You can't blame him
Afraid of being stuck. I'm sick
One thing one day
I'd like to see you
Interior hand
The tree is you
It's been here forever.

Reflection: What does this mean about me?

*Please consider journalling about your reflections.

Take a moment to take in your work. What feelings are coming up for you now as you consider it? Do any of them feel surprising to you?

As you hold a space for your project, are there any word or qualities that come to mind? Does your work demonstrate any qualities or traits about yourself? *This is an exercise in noticing, not reacting or judging, so try to just notice what comes up and stay with it for a moment without reacting to it before letting it go. 

Have you gained any insights about yourself, or what do you may need to feel safe enough to risk being known? Even in just one small way, or with one person?